The last three weddings I went to I caught the bouquet. At my brothers wedding I had to wrestle a four year old girl. When I pryed the bouquet from her hands my boyfriend fakes a heart attack!!!!
I did stand up at the wedding and I thought people were going to tell me they liked my fisting jokes instead they were like, "Phil the heart attack, Genius!"
The second wedding Lisa Hurst's wedding a girl from her sorority and I caught it. She made such a big scene after she fell on the ground, "Allright just take it" After reviewing the videotape in front of a jury everyone agrees she indeed lost her balance and I did not push her! Allright!!!!
Melissa's wedding I caught the bouquet again, jeez!! Talk about fate! I am so ready to get married. You should have seen the guys fighting over me! Except my boyfriend all three times, did not really try so hard. If it were the other way around, and Phil caught the bouquet. I would take out anyone I had to. Just like the time I played tackle football with a gang of lesbians.
These lesbians were two hundred pounds and six feet tall. Of course they wanted to play tackle football anything for a cheap feel. Yeah right! One girl threw me down in the sand, and I got sand in my mouth. I look at her with a look of revenge as I spit the dirt from my mouth. Then on the next play I jumped in the air sideways with all my strength I kicked the giant lesbian with all my might in the stomach! And down she went it was like David and Goliath. I was playing the role of David of course. Except it was tackle football.
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